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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A guy I ride with is using a new sig on our local forum and it got me thinking about all the harley jokes out there so let's hear em guys and girls.

His sig is "Harley Davidsons, converting gasoline to noise without the nasty side effect of horsepower for 125 yrs". I thought that pretty much sums it up.

The joke I ask the harley guys I know is...

Q: What's the differance between a harley and a vaccuum cleaner?

A: The position of the dirt bag.


Habs
 
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I've got a million of them...

Q: When a Harley Owner and a NASCAR fan get into a fight, who wins?
A: We all do!

Q: What do you call 10,000 Harleys at the bottom of the Ocean?
A: A good start.

Q: Where do you put your money if you wanna hide it from a Harley rider?
A: In the bathroom underneath a bar of soap.

Q: What's the number one selling accessory for a Harley?
A: A trailer to haul it on!

Q: What do Harleys and Hemmorrhoids have in common?
A: Sooner or later, every asshole gets one!

Q: What do you call a Harley that doesn't leak any oil?
A: Empty!

Q: Why did the Harley owner cross the road?
A: He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken!

Q: How do you keep a Harley owner in suspense?
A: (Silence)

Q: Have you seen the new Harley Davidson handkerchief?
A: (Draw a big HD on your fingertip)
 

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Q: What do you call a guy who owns a Harley?
A: A fathead idiot.

har har


k bye
 

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"Harley Davidson..... Tight Black Leather Isn't Just for the Gay Bar Anymore!"
 

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Race with a Harley

I raced a Harley today and after some really hard riding I managed
to PASS the guy. I was riding on one of those really, really
twisting sections of mountain road with no straight sections to
speak of and where most of the bends have warning signs that
say "MAX SPEED 50 KPH".

I knew if I was going to pass one of those monsters with those
big-cubic-inch motors, it would have to be a place like this where
handling and rider skill are more important than horsepower alone.

I saw the guy up ahead as I exited one of the turns and knew I could
catch him, but it wouldn't be easy. I concentrated on my braking and
cornering. Three corners later, I was on his mudguard. Catching him
was one thing; passing him would prove to be another.

Two corners later, I pulled up next to him as we sailed down the
mountain. I think he was shocked to see me next to him, as I nearly
got by him before he could recover. Next corner, same thing. I'd
manage to pull up next to him as we started to enter the corners but
when we came out he'd get on the throttle and out-power me. His
horsepower was almost too much to overcome, but this only made me
more determined than ever.

My only hope was to out-brake him. I held off squeezing the lever
until the last instant. I kept my nerve while he lost his. In an
instant I was by him. Corner after corner, I could hear the roar of
his engine as he struggled to keep up. Three more miles to go before
the road straightens out and he would pass me for good.

But now I was in the lead and he would no longer hold me back. I
stretched out my lead and by the time we reached the bottom of the
canyon, he was more than a full corner behind. I could no longer see
him in my rear-view mirror.

Once the road did straighten out, it seemed like it took miles
before he passed me, but it was probably just a few hundred yards. I
was no match for that kind of horsepower, but it was done. In the
tightest section of road, where bravery and skill count for more
than horsepower and deep pockets, I had passed him. Though it was
not easy, I had won the race to the bottom of the mountain and I had
preserved the proud tradition of one of the best bits of Brit iron.

I will always remember that moment. I don't think I've ever pedaled
so hard in my life. And, some of the credit must go to Raleigh
cycles, as well. They really make a great bicycle...
 
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A Honda rider, a Ducati rider and a Harley Davidson rider were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze after a long day’s ride. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them, impounding their bikes in the process. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.
By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The Harley Davidson rider was first in line (he had drunk the most), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Harley Davidson rider had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.
The Ducati rider was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after watching the scene, said: "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through. The Ducati rider had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.
The Honda rider was the last one up (he had drunk the least), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said: "You ride a Honda. You support the greatest motorcycle and car producer in the world. I myself ride a Fireblade and have many Acuras in my fleet. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thanks, your most Royal highness", the Honda rider replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes!"
"Not only are you an honorable and powerful man, you are also very brave" the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face.
"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.
"Tie the Harley Davidson rider to my back." The Honda rider replied.
 

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LOL, this is really good. I work with 3 harley riders, they are going to catch hell today. Thanks .
 

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lmao at the race and honda jokes.
 

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my first love has always been the sound of a screaming inline, i rode harleys back when it actually was cool but we never thought they were fast. ihave an 82 GS1100 now that will spank those morons at will. cant wait to get the ZX-11 on the road.
 

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enough said (love the custom napkins)

 

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people keep staring at me at work becuause i'm laughing so hard. i have nothing against harley's, but you know....
 

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I love this thread.

My boss has a Harley...we get along really well so I can get away with calling his bike a piece of shit :D.

He responds by telling me to get a real man's bike....
 

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There's a guy who works in my building that rides HD. I tried chatting him up a while back but he's def one of those people who don't talk to any riders on non-HD bikes.
 
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